Well, it’s February, the month of LOVE. And today, February 13th, precedes the day of love, Valentine’s Day. I may try to convince myself that Valentine’s Day doesn’t matter, that it’s an over-commercialized holiday pressuring all of us to buy Hallmark cards and chocolates. But the truth is that this day does influence our lives. Like it or not, Valentine’s Day reminds us that part of the human experience is relationship, and part of relationship is love and romance.
I find that this time of year influences that amount of time I spend reflecting on love in my own life, and more often than not, it seems that romantic love is missing from the equation. Anyone else? While Valentine’s Day brings attention and gifts to all the couples out there, there are still a few of us single people who need love too!
So what to do? I can’t very well force romantic love into my life, but I can give thanks for the other types of love I experience every day–love from my family and friendships, and love from myself.
If, like me, you are dealing with singledom this Valentine’s Day, and all the emotional issues it brings up, aromatherapy can help. While there are plenty of blends for supporting romance, there are blends for soothing loneliness, too. I plan filling this year’s Valentine’s Day with self-love, using a few aromatherapy blends to enhance the process. I have sparkling wine and organic chocolates ready to go, and will probably buy myself some flowers today (doing it tomorrow might be a little depressing). And I will treat myself to an evening of DIY pampering with herbal facials and an essential oil bath, followed by relaxing with a movie–but definitely not anything romantic. It will have to be the biggest blood-bath I can find . . . maybe I’ll watch a Walking Dead marathon instead ;)
Anyway, if you’d like to join me in a day of self-love, there are a few aromatherapy blends that may help. These recipes are taken from Gabriel Mojay’s book Aromatherapy for Healing the Spirit, and excellent resource for healing emotions with aromatherapy.
Recipes for Loneliness
If your feeling bitter about your single status, try a blend of bergamot, chamomile, and everlasting essential oils. Bergamot is gently uplifting, German and Roman chamomiles soothe depression, and everlasting frees the spirit.
- 2 drops bergamot
- 2 drops chamomile (German or Roman)
- 2 drops everlasting
Feeling disheartened or apathetic? Try the following blend of rosemary and ginger essential oils, both warming to the body and soul:
- 4 drops rosemary
- 1 drop ginger
If you’re truly lonely and forlorn, a blend of marjoram, rosemary, and myrrh can help. Marjoram is a sweet, nurturing oil that can help with feelings of sadness and loss, while sacred myrrh oil can help free the mind from preoccupation with single status.
- 3 drops marjoram
- 2 drops rosemary
- 1 drop myrrh
Recipes for Developing Healthy Relationships
Sometimes, reflecting on relationships and love can make us aware of our personal blocks in this area. An underlying fear of commitment is often a culprit when relationships end, and I’ve realized that my fear of being completely vulnerable has probably prevented the development of a few of my relationships. If you’d like to begin the healing process with either of these issues, aromatherapy can support you.
For fear of commitment, try cardamom, caraway, and rose. Cardamom increases desire for intimacy and caraway for consistency, a good combination in a healthy relationship. And rose has symbolized love throughout time for a good reason; it opens the heart and allows all types of love to blossom.
- 2 drops caraway
- 2 drops cardamom
- 1 drop rose
Healing feelings of distrust and fear of vulnerability can help prepare us for healthy relationships, as well. Lemon is a wonderful oil for developing trust, and palmarosa helps us with feelings of security. Combined with rose, these make a loving, healing blend.
- 2 drops rose
- 2 drops palmarosa
- 1 drop lemon
Any of these blends can help heal your spirit this Valentine’s Day. Mix the blends in bath salts or a carrier oil for a revitalizing soak (don’t add the drops directly to the bath water), or diffuse the blends throughout your home. Remember, never apply the oils directly to your skin. If you’d like to try a bit of acupressure or self-massage with these blends, make sure to mix them with a carrier oil first. Jojoba and fractionated coconut oils are great carriers, but even olive oil can work in a pinch. A good ratio is about 15 drops of essential oils per 1 Tbs of carrier oil.
Happy Valentine’s Day, single folks! Enjoy your day of self-love and pampering. And when a new someone special enters your life, check back–I’m sure I’ll be posting about love potions and aphrodisiacs soon. ♥